is totally disgusting. all of you who willfully underestimate your subway transit time, and it's everyone, are... very very bad. you know you do it. i have had confessions. if you're doing it because you're aftaid your friends won't wait for you if you tell them the dismal truth that's one thing, but if you're just deceiving yourself and everyone else for the hell of it you need to FUCKING SHAPE UP. please see the below table for your reference.
SUBWAY PESSIMIST TIMETABLE:
WEEKDAY / WEEKEND / LATE NIGHT times (in minuites)*
UWS to/from lower manhattan:
45 / 60 / 90
Williamsburg to/from lower manhattan:
20 - 45 / 30 - 60 / 50 - 90
Bed Stuy to/from Anywhere:
60 / 75 / 120
Crown Heights to/from the UWS:
75 / 90 / 150
Sunset Park/Park Slope to/from the UWS:
80 / 90 / 120
Sunset Park/Park Slope to/from Wburg:
70 / 80 / 120
UES to/from Lower Manhattan:
30 / 45 / 60
UES to/from Sunset Park/Park Slope:
65 / 80 / 100
Bushwick to/from anywhere:
60 / 100 / 150**
I will be happy to porvide more times upon request.
*Please note that these times do include travel time to/from the subway station, as well as time spent waiting on the platform. As such, they can be considered somewhat on the outside, but certainly not the maximum. After all, the subway could never come until you had already died down there.
**If you think that any of the preceeding times are outrageous, I don't want to hear about it, and I also don't want to hear about the one time when the subway was pulling into the station just as you stepped on and it took you 15 min until you stepped off at your destination, etc. You are a foolish optimist and you can be late all the time for all I care.
Please also note that if you are traveling by bike it will take you only 20 min to get anywhere from anywhere, except to Coney Island, which takes an hour and a half, and Breezy Point, which takes 2 1/2 hours. Hooray for biking.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
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4 comments:
Dear Sir,
I entirely agree with your estimates and have independently and empyrically verified them using certified chronometers and a team of experts.
Thank you for your refreshing candor in a city full of disreputable travel time liars.
People are jerks about their subway estimates, but Phil, you're completely wrong and overly pessimistic. UWS to lower manhattan takes no more than 30 minutes during the day. And that's just the beginning of the trouble with that list.
Everyone ignore Phil, he's trying to tear us apart by convincing us to stay home!
HIP HIP HOORAY FOR BIKES!
Letz all make like Copenhagen and pedal-pedal.
I hate riding the subway because the collective shitty mood per class-conflict is palpable and unnecessary.
Or how about the $600 million MTA surplus that was the product of runaway corruption, and NEVER accounted for, except by additional fair-hikes?
Also: a cop can search you just based on your appearance, without warrant, so it is no longer a viable method of transporting contraband AKA weeeeeed.
Remember when those army soldiers were stationed in the subway with semi-automatic machine guns?
That was awesome.
Excellent preventative measure to stop another 9.11 from happening...NNNNNNNOTTTTTTTT!
1. Weed is bad.
2. the MTA has so much maintenence work to do i don't wonder that they are always short of money.
3. as a clarification: biking, but no bicycle helmets, please.
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