The Rounds

Walk walk walk, go to the printer, go to the fax, keep an eye on things. God knows this place would fall apart without you. God forgid we should all see each other's web surfing face-to-face. Face, they took the face, and the nose, and the jaw, from a cadaver, and put it on your face, where your face had been eaten away by a bomb blast, by a renegade pipe, a whirling machine, a dog's stomach. They put the dead face on your face and now you have to take pills, the pills keep the dead face alive, keep it from rotting off your face and rotting the rest of you off. The only thing worse is the gaping hole of medical tubes and wires and horror that is your face before you had this dead man's face on there. So now, maybe, in 10 years or so you might look not like yourself and not like him but like a blended version of both of you. The only question is, when they buried him did the coroner make a wax model of his nose and teeth and jaw and put it on his cadaver and if he did, was it a model of his face or a partial one of yours?

Progress on All Fronts

It was a good plan, except for the follow-up. Then again, we've seen phenomenal results so far and theres a lot of really exciting stuff going on. Are you excited? Man, you sure are in the right place. One million dollars? What I wouldn't give to have that kinda money when I was your age! Have you hit the town with this guy? He's like five foot four, bisexual, and he bangs all kinda hot models! Yeah? He uh, plays for both teams? I mean, far be it from me to, I mean, that's fine with me. Man, those girls were hot though. I mean you had this blonde one, and her legs came up to hear ears! But seriously, are you on board? Because this place is really going to take off. I mean talk about the ground floor, man! Yeah, we'll have the seafood sampler. Does that come with the king's crab legs? Yeah, we'll have two of those. Are you guys hungry? Yeah, and the steak tartare. Two of those. Ok, perfect. Thank you so much. What was I saying? Yeah, one million dollars... Do you know that I own an island? So we'll give you ten percent, but you'll have to sign a golden handcuffs contract, ha ha! You'll never be able to leave. I mean some of the stuff we have going on... Well, I can't tell you about it until you sign, but its going to... its going to be...

Myoplastic phasial analysis proves otherwise.

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. And in that jumping what fleas may fall must give that dog the itch. Reproduction follows which necessarily will produce puppies, puppies which may or may not be eaten by their father and have sex with their mother, produceth monsters. The trick is to do this under the radar, below the horoscope, so to speak, thus enabling and ensuring that the cat does not leave the bag and that, in fact, the bag becomes its grave. A grave subject indeed, when the dead rise up to claim what is rightfully theirs and flood this world with gibberish, the gibberish that can destroy the wealth of nations even as it sanitizes and gives them new birth as meta nations. The cyber identity of these meta nations is the subject of some debate, for most citizens would argue that they have no rights as they are not, juris prudence, concrete entities. Nevertheless, these cyber identities are often identified with more closely by the nation in question, who claims that only by assuming the cyber mask are they able to live out their preprogrammed sexual predilections. Average citizens who run afoul of these creatures may quickly find themselves trying to stumble through the shopping carts and model Ts of Boston harbor bottom with concrete shoes. A foul business indeed, for the harbors and byways of this great nation have long been a hotbed of phosphorous runoff, leading to the contamination of river sediment and in turn, young girl’s breasts. The milk of these, in turn, is produced much earlier and is of no nutritional value whatsoever, moreover, it represents and severe flood warning for low lying areas. Lying scumbags, they deserve to rot in hell for what they did to me, what they did to us! We will surely be victorious in the coming electoral campaign, as long as we can get our supply lines straight and don’t let them get tangled. The maestro will be crucial to this effort as he is the best placed to oversee multiple spearheads and has the most dexterous fingers. What will happen, then, when the process comes to an end? Some say that the world will be reforged in the crucible of the image of various crystalline influences and that no hope exists or has ever existed. What's free and what's for sale? Well, you can have this red hobbyhorse for a dollar fifty because my children are too old for it and I heard yesterday on US News and World Report about how two babies got strangled in the springs of a similar device so I’m sure that your uses will be much more appropriate.